I cannot wait for everyone to hate me soon!

Admit it: everyone discriminates the teens

OK, don't get me wrong here. I am not a depressed teenager who thinks that everyone hates me, and that I must hide away and hiss at the sunlight. No, I am referencing to the joy that is being a new 17-year-old driver on Britain's bumpy b-roads.

Since the age of about being conceived, I couldn't wait to be able to drive for myself. It has been a very frustrating sixteen years of my life so far, because my parents drive, well, sensibly I guess. I want to be able to wring out first gear when I pull away into a roundabout, and the prospect that I will have the freedom to do such a thing this year gets me very, very excited.


But I also have to take this into consideration: I will be a 17-year-old male who enjoys driving his inevitably tatty car to the ragged edge. I will be scowled upon every street I descend into. That is not a pleasant thought. I like to think I will be an aggressive, yet considerate driver. If you think I am going off my hook, I mean that I will be no slouch when it comes to driving style, but I won't endanger any other drivers as a result of it. Hopefully...

A slammed car just looks like you've left your suspension behind

But of course, this automatic hate for me won't just be because it's me. This hate comes because it has been very well built up recently from the young driving community. Most of these hooligans are normally teenagers who pretend to know everything about cars, but ask them to explain what a limited slip differential does and bam, they're stumped.

This sense can be similarly applied unfortunately to their taste of style. Suddenly a 1995 1.0L Vauxhall Corsa becomes the sexiest car alive, and the guys tend to, ahem, "improve" it by fitting ghastly third party modifications.

If you know what I'm talking about, you may of heard of the term 'ricers'. This is where (typically young male) drivers fit modifications and upgrades to their cars in the most tasteless manner possible. For example, you can have third party LED daytime lights, upgraded sports exhaust (and straight piping the whole exhaust system), lowered suspension, cambered wheels, tinted windows etc. The list is utterly endless and it looks stupid on your tin can of a car.

I would never change the looks of my dream car

My worst though is when people straight pipe their weedy engined cars. Straight piping is just that; make the exhaust system straight and remove any noise muffler boxes. The result can be a rather nice sound on some big engined sports cars, but on a typical 1.0L three-cylinder rustbucket? It just sounds like a fart, and an annoying one at that.

So understandably, that all translates onto me as soon as I start driving. But no worries, I may have no fashion sense, but if I were to upgrade a car, I would only do work under the bonnet. That way, people will see a normal car pull up but will be utterly blinded by this unexpected speed. Needless to say, I won't be 'slamming' my car any time soon.