Children Production Factories Rejoice - A Drivers Car Has Landed At Last

What a sexy beast

If you are one of those people who have never heard of the word 'condom', or you just love that fresh smell of changing nappies, then you'll probably know that the choice for cars becomes quite beige. Forget your sports roadsters or even wafting saloons - it's MPVs or nothing now, once you go beyond three kids.

Now obviously, this doesn't really bother a vast majority of child-manufacturer parents. Not everyone is a car fanatic, and so a normal 1.9L diesel Ford Galaxy will do just fine. But what if you like cars and  you didn't put a sock on the end of it? Well you were in big trouble - up until now, that is.


Perhaps unsurprisingly, it is very difficult to make a car as cumbersome as a family MPV 'sporty' or 'enjoyable'. That's not to say the badges haven't tried in the past: we have had the Vauxhall Zafira VXR, and the Ford S-Max with the same engine as the last Focus ST. These cars were quite fast, but physics soon took control when you tried to corner the boxy beasts - delicious, tasty understeer.

This is precisely the reason why 'dynamic' companies such as BMW have steered well clear of this segment of the market. After all, a MPV would surely ruin the badges' sporty rep? In fact, BMW seem to be so protective of their reputation, they even make the bog-standard 1-series rear wheel drive; despite a staggering 80% of owners thinking their car was front wheel drive. Unnecessary expense, much?

Think Mercedes B-Class

So BMW have taken a big step and introduced their first front wheel drive car *gasps*, and it's an MPV *faints*! But BMW isn't going to make something crummy, oh no, this thing can be equipped with the 35i engine found throughout the range, so you can compete for the record of 'Quickest Way To Make Your Child Sick'.

Kids can half the value of this interior in ten seconds dead

According to various reviews, it seems this thing is a guddun'. Not quite as sharp as the rest of the BMW range, but child-carrying petrolheads, consider this: BMW furiously tested this car on the Nurburgring and proudly state it can get round in less than nine minutes. It's like they can't help themselves.